From: donotreply@etherealamnesty.org
Subject: Your three wishes
Dear Mrs. Carlton,
I hope this day finds you well. My name is Rathul. I speak to you concerning three wishes you have been given by my agency, Ethereal Amnesty. It has come to our attention that, despite the magnitude of our intervention and our rigid adherence to your requests, you would remain unaware of your blessings without a conscious effort on our part to contact you. The following are the instances in which we provided you with aid:
1. May 21, 1996 – Your fiancée’s fatal car accident while driving back from work. You remarked the next day that you “just wish he would have stayed home.” We granted you your request.
2. July 7, 2002 – Your husband’s assertion that he was being completely faithful to you and your marriage. You remarked, “I wish I believed you.” We granted you your request.
3. January 29, 2011 – Your discovery that your husband was having an affair with your sister. You remarked, “I would rather have walked in on you dead than walked in on that.” We granted you your request.
Thank you for your time. We hope our performance has been to your satisfaction.
Best regards,
Rathul Jhovenich
Ethereal Amnesty
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