"Write a week's worth of posts from a Twitter account."
Submissions due 06 March at 11:30 PM.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Greg Wins Again
Greg lays down the law (much like Kim Jong-Il) on step two of a winning streak.
Nixon takes another stroll down Meta Lane, the street that crosses itself.
Nixon takes another stroll down Meta Lane, the street that crosses itself.
7. Gabriel Reynolds
: rough draft, finish by Tuesday :
BASIC
Travis Parker
b. 11/29/88 d. 1/10/11 – 22 yrs
f. Jeffrey, m. Sabrina, no siblings
Schenectady, NY
Abraham Fellowship Community College – class of 2011
PASSING
Suicide? (consensus)
No body found, left note in dorm indicating intentions to “leave this world behind,” no explanation or motivation offered
Unsuccessful police search lasting two weeks
Cell phone and wallet in dorm, car on campus in usual spot
Laptop missing
“So unexpected” (mom) because he had just finished planning expensive mission trip to Africa
LIFE
Active in Campus Crusade
Girlfriend – Sara Sparks (also involved in CC)
Foreign Relations Major
Family history of work in the Church (father is pastor)
Played guitar, frisbee
LEGACY / SOFT SERVE
His passion for Christ left an indelible mark on the community of AFCC
His smile and his spirit were beacons of encouragement for everyone who knew him
…Should be remembered for his life, rather than his death.
Friends and family comforted by last part of Travis’ note – “You will see me again.” (“we know we will see him in heaven someday” says mom)
Get quote from classmate? Make up if deadline threatens
Sunday, February 20, 2011
7. Nixon Ball
Andrew David Evans
Mr. Andrew David Evans of Chapel Hill and Cary, NC was pronounced dead at 11:49 February 20th, 2011 . Born March 22, 1991 to JP and Nancy Evans. The coroners announcement followed almost three months of ambiuguity in regards to his condition and whereabouts. Close friends first noted his ailing condition in Week 0 when his post seemed weak and frail. In the following weeks his activity dropped and disappeared. In life Evans was noted for his acute senses and ability to note the disturbance of objects in his immediate surroundings, even if not present for the event. Evans also gained some notoriety for having shot a six on hole 8 at Kentwood Disc Golf Course in Raleigh. He is remembered as a strong and manly gentleman with a superb sense of style. The Virginia native is survived by one post and and a wasted account on blogspot. No Funeral services to be held.
[(Inappropriate? Probably.
Meta again? Of course.)]
Mr. Andrew David Evans of Chapel Hill and Cary, NC was pronounced dead at 11:49 February 20th, 2011 . Born March 22, 1991 to JP and Nancy Evans. The coroners announcement followed almost three months of ambiuguity in regards to his condition and whereabouts. Close friends first noted his ailing condition in Week 0 when his post seemed weak and frail. In the following weeks his activity dropped and disappeared. In life Evans was noted for his acute senses and ability to note the disturbance of objects in his immediate surroundings, even if not present for the event. Evans also gained some notoriety for having shot a six on hole 8 at Kentwood Disc Golf Course in Raleigh. He is remembered as a strong and manly gentleman with a superb sense of style. The Virginia native is survived by one post and and a wasted account on blogspot. No Funeral services to be held.
[(Inappropriate? Probably.
Meta again? Of course.)]
7. Gregory M.
The following column was excerpted from Pyongyang Royal Newspaper and interpreted for reprinting by N.Y. Times correspondent Dr. Alan Lehigh.
The world of Earth is doomed to eternal flame as it must now exist in the absence of its Lord Kim Jong-Il. However The Democratic Republic of Korea must persevere in its mission and continue along the path toward global rule.
The Supreme Leader has left us in flesh only and as ManGod he remains with the DRK and will continue to guide us. Fear not, people of the DRK, as the might of Kim Jong-Il transcends mortality.
The Great General Himself is survived by his Son and Heir to the Worldly Throne, and also three other offspring of his Holy Fruits. After approximately two-hundred and forty years under the guidance of Kim Jong-Il we must now embrace the rule of the Dear Leader’s son-successor.
We recall the numerous glories of His life. The Supreme Leader lived a life of Godly splendor and he deserved all of its rewards. He was world expert of the internet. He was modest in keeping just seventeen palaces. His skills as a golfing man were unrivaled: averaging a score of eighteen on international courses pushed him to the forefront of the sport. We nostalgically remind the people of our Dear Leader’s love of fine international cinema, only to be viewed properly on the soil of the DRK. Space Jam was the only masterpiece fit for obsessive viewing by our Leader and Michael Jordan the only athlete to ever compete with our Leader’s athletic prowess.
Never since our Leader’s Father Kim Il-Song has there lived so glorious a man on our planet. The sixteen grizzly bears which His Highness managed to strangle before being cheated of his life by the vermin dragon beast from America will remember the divine majesty of our former Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)