The following column was excerpted from Pyongyang Royal Newspaper and interpreted for reprinting by N.Y. Times correspondent Dr. Alan Lehigh.
The world of Earth is doomed to eternal flame as it must now exist in the absence of its Lord Kim Jong-Il. However The Democratic Republic of Korea must persevere in its mission and continue along the path toward global rule.
The Supreme Leader has left us in flesh only and as ManGod he remains with the DRK and will continue to guide us. Fear not, people of the DRK, as the might of Kim Jong-Il transcends mortality.
The Great General Himself is survived by his Son and Heir to the Worldly Throne, and also three other offspring of his Holy Fruits. After approximately two-hundred and forty years under the guidance of Kim Jong-Il we must now embrace the rule of the Dear Leader’s son-successor.
We recall the numerous glories of His life. The Supreme Leader lived a life of Godly splendor and he deserved all of its rewards. He was world expert of the internet. He was modest in keeping just seventeen palaces. His skills as a golfing man were unrivaled: averaging a score of eighteen on international courses pushed him to the forefront of the sport. We nostalgically remind the people of our Dear Leader’s love of fine international cinema, only to be viewed properly on the soil of the DRK. Space Jam was the only masterpiece fit for obsessive viewing by our Leader and Michael Jordan the only athlete to ever compete with our Leader’s athletic prowess.
Never since our Leader’s Father Kim Il-Song has there lived so glorious a man on our planet. The sixteen grizzly bears which His Highness managed to strangle before being cheated of his life by the vermin dragon beast from America will remember the divine majesty of our former Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.
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